Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
