His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
