Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you will always have a special place in my vag
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
