omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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