the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
