I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
