you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
