2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
