I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize