you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
