Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You were trust falling into bushes
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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