you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
