I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
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