Umm I'm too high to move.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
