Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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