I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
