Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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