I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
