She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
