Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
