it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
