Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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