$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize