There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
