I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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