Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
