hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
