im drinking this country out of the recession.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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