More tranny stories later!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You made out with two different species that night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
