take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize