it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
