32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
