Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize