Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
