i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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