I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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