do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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