I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
