It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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