Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
