Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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