I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
