You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
