I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Houston, we have a squirter
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize