this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
