I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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