good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
