This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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