I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
