Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?

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(626): View more from California

it was like eating out sand paper

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(919): View more from North Carolina

we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best

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(740): View more from Ohio

Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.

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(519): View more from Ontario

There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?

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(520): View more from Arizona

Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more

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