Kiss
Puke
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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