I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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