It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
