matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
