Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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