eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
