david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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