how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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