U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
