I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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