it wasn't lemon gatorade
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
