so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
