She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
