Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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