i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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