we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We are two peas in an std pod
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
