I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
