End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize