PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
