Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
